Remembrance

Today marks another Memorial Day.  Today is different than previous holidays.  Today, I "get" it.  I wish I didn't, I wish I were able to naively enjoy a 3-day weekend, family bbq's and what I thought was an adequate reflection on the true price our military personnel pay everyday.

Sacrifice always comes with a price tag attached.  Some of our troops are away from their loved ones for long periods of time.  Children are born and grow up in their absences.  T-ball games and ballet recitals are missed, and only enjoyed through home movies or emailed pictures.  Thanksgiving dinner arrives with one less person at the table, while the family prays for their safe return.  Parents celebrate a milestone anniversary - all smiles on the outside, crying on the inside, that their beloved child is so far away, and potentially in danger.

There is also the "ultimate sacrifice" - the giving of one's own life for the benefit of others.  My son-in-law, Joel, did that.  He gave his life, in service of the US Army.  Not only did he sacrifice himself for his Ranger brothers, he gave up his chance to be a life-long husband and father.  He was overseas and missed his first wedding anniversary.  A week before the tour of duty was over, he was gravely injured.  Three days later, he passed from this world - his family, wife and infant son at his side.  His son will celebrate his first birthday in a matter of days from now.

Why did he do this?  Because he was a US Ranger, because he believed in his country and wanted to serve and protect her, because this was his calling.

To Joel, and every other veteran - both gone and still with us - I thank you.  Honestly, my thanks are truly insufficient, but they're all I have to offer, and they come from the heart.

“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” Arthur Ashe

Joel D. Clarkson, 10/08/86 - 03/16/10

My 23 year old son-in-law died today.

He was a US Army Ranger, on his 5th deployment to the Middle East.  He sustained a critical head injury on a mission last week.  Once the field surgeons stabilized him, he was flown to Germany.  My daughter (his wife) and their 9 month old son flew, together with his parents and sister, to be with him.

The injury resulted in brain death.

Carrying on his heroic nature, his last act was to donate life-saving organs so that others might live to see their spouses, children and parents another day.  His final gift saved seven people, including children.

They're all flying home soon.  My daughter's last comment to me, before leaving the States, was that she wasn't coming back until she had Joel with her.

I cannot fathom what my daughter is feeling as a "widow," not yet 21 years old.  I mourn that my grandson will never know his father, except through old pictures and other people's memories.  I empathize so deeply with his parents and siblings and other family... I considered him "one of mine."  I find myself cursing the bright blue, Spring sky for daring to be so cheerful today.  It should be raining buckets, with keening winds, black clouds and the suffocating sense of loss I am feeling right now. 

Before today, I would have disbelieved the human heart could shatter into so many pieces, in just a millisecond.

Joel ~ Son.  Brother.  Grandson.  Nephew.  Cousin.  Husband.  Father.  Son-in-Law.  Brother-in-Law.  Brother in Arms.  Friend.  Hero.  We love you.